When the desire outweighs the fear

As I try and force an early sleep in order to head out and attempt to catch some waves in the morning, I wrestle with my demons. Images of drowning, shark attacks, utter embarrassment at futile attempts of catching waves, exhaustion paddling out, getting decked by my board in the head and so on and so forth, flood my mind. Oh how our brain loves to torment us! Understanding the physiological reasons behind this is important because one is then less likely to fuse with these images and bow under their pressure; really we are just animals trying to survive in this world! Add consciousness and ta da- completely contradictory behaviours and desires! With my toolkit of visualisation, psychosocial education and positive thinking, I bolster my courage to take down such fears. Closing my eyes I see myself confidently paddling out, the waves are crisp and the water clear, I have a smile like a kid in a sweet shop on my face as the salt water splashes up..gah a shark! Huge jaws opening up toward me- sigh! Brain attack. Thanks brain for that little reminder of your desire to keep me alive. Back to the drawing board. A few deep breaths to settle the amygdala and again closing my eyes. This time I'm going to really project my imagination into this scene and create a few dolphins joining me in the surf. Comforted by a memory of an article about a dolphin saving a swimmer from a shark I embark once more on my visualisation. This time I make it as far as catching a wave in my mind, and then here again the return of a great white and its gaping mouth. Man the mind can be brutal! I smile at the ridiculous nature of it and regain control with my breath, gently reminding myself why it is that I want to get out into those waves. I will surf tomorrow though there's a mountain of doubt sitting in the depth of my tummy. Why? Because my essential self yearns for it, and though the fear of so much going wrong remains intact, I'm going to push through and encourage you my friends to do the same. Why? Because our lives are enhanced when we combat our fears in the face of our desire. And this tiny blip of a life is for living, not for being convinced by our primal fear. Surfs up.